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May/June, 1999 Volume XIII Number 6



The Race

Awareness grows ---
God, where am I?
I have a sense of You;
Now, why would I
Have left Your grace?
Why the journey
Through deep space?
Here I cling ---
God, where am I?
Is this “alive”?
God, hear my cry.
Suddenly, awareness comes.
I’m one of Jesus’
“Little ones”!
I’m a human child ---
It’s true!
My image here
Looks just like You.

Is this a womb?
My mother dear?
It’s warm and dark
And safe in here.
I’ve a journey
Now to make.
A nine months’ quest;
My life’s at stake.
The time is long,
And here I cling.
I want birth more
Than anything!
I do not feel
Sad or neglected.
Though God is far,
I am protected.
I would explore,
But I can’t see.
Let me adore
His memory.

I feel a pulsing
In my ears.
Is this mom’s
Beating heart so near?
Soon I’ll have
My very own,
Built of tissue,
Love, and bone.

What did You
Just say, dear God?
A heart of bone
Is very odd?
Oh, now I know.
Bone’s in my legs ---
And arms and head.
Such knowledge begs
To give me time
To know still more.
That is part
Of what life’s for!
And part of it
Is serving You.
I pledge that I
Will do it, too.
I’ll grow and know
All that there can
Be gathered to
The heart of man.

A month has gone;
I have my heart!
However did I live apart
From knowledge of
Your love so near?
I touch surprise,
And joy, and fear.

Two months gone.
I have my brain.
Ten tiny toes,
But still no name.
Apparently, I have a dad.
Is my mom happy?
I’m sure glad!
God tells me life
Takes one of each.
Such wonder is
Beyond my reach!
I’ve only seven
Months to go.
My growth is rapid ---
That I know.
But I cannot
Yet live apart
From warm, sweet darkness
Near mom’s heart.

Is this a race?
God, will I win?
To kill me here
Would be a sin.
But I’m so happy
Through and through;
‘Cause dad and mom,
I’ll look like you!

Three months gone,
And what a joy.
Mom, you’ve got
A baby boy.
I suck my thumb.
I kick and swim.
I’m in a race
Which I must win.
But I have not
Lived long enough.
To end my voyage
Is too rough
For me outside
To yet survive.
But I’m in here,
And so alive!

Four months gone.
I’m quite a sight.
Everything
Will turn out right!
I have my bones
And skin and hair.
One heart and stomach.
Lungs: a pair.
There’s lots of things
Inside, in place,
To carry me
Through nine months’ race.
I cannot see
My soul, you know,
But it is such
A love-God-glow.
God and mom
And dad are those
Who gave me hands
And feet and toes
And fingers which
Will one day play
In dirt and mud
And water spray.

I’ve little knees
That I will skin,
And fingernails
That mom must trim.
My arms will clasp
My daddy’s neck
As we play horsie
On the deck
Of something
That they call a house.
I’ll own a puppy
And a mouse
And a goldfish
And a frog.
Skip across
A fallen log.
Can’t wait to try
The thing called “play”.
And I’ll eat food
Three times a day.
It will be different
Than food now.
God says to wait,
And I’ll know how.

I put my ear
To my womb’s wall.
I hear footsteps
Down a hall.
I hear music.
I hear laugh.
I think my mom’s
Taking a bath.
She’s in water.
So am I!
God says there’s water,
Earth, and sky.
When I am born,
I’ll see it all ---
From crawl to toddle,
Walk and fall.

I hear voices
From a screen.
That’s what dad says,
Although unseen.
My mom likes movies
Of romance.
She and dad
Gave me a chance.
But I hear words
That I don’t like.
They scare me
Every time they strike.
Words like “choice”
And someone’s “right”.
They make me shiver
In the night.
There are other
Babes, I know,
Who never make
The journey, though
They all started ---
Just like me. And now ---
They’re just a memory.

Five months gone;
I’ve less to fear.
I’m going to win
The race in here!
If my parents
Wanted “choice”,
I’d not be here
Vying for voice.
And so, in silence,
I rejoice!
I breathe the water
I float in.
It cushions me
And lets me swim.
Sometimes I feel the ultrasound.
The scanner’s moving all around.
Such funny waves tickle and sweet.
I curl my fingers, kick my feet.
I am healthy; they’re so glad.
Can’t wait to see you,
Mom and dad!
My little soul
Knows joy clear through!
The love of God gave me to you.

Six months gone:
I can survive
Outside the womb,
Remain alive.
But there’s no need
To speed the plan.
I’ll stay and grow
Long as I can.
The bigger I
Am going to be
Will make the trip
Safer for me.
Mom’s pregnancy is evident.
Dad says her clothes
Look like a tent.
I don’t know if
That’s nice to say,
But mommy laughed,
Then danced away.
Tastes and smells
And food are free.
What mommy does
Comes through to me.

I’ve heard the word “abortion”, too,
But I’m so far along in you
That even though it makes me fear,
I know I’m warm and safe in here.

I’m learning words.
That’s how I know
That many babies never grow
A full nine months;
Their moms decide.
The race stops short
For them inside
What should have been
The safest place
To start and win
The human race.
The ultrasound touches my wet.
I hear the doctor say, “Not yet.”
I knew I had nothing to fear!
I will win my race in here!

Seven months gone.
I’m quite a sight!
Mom and dad, you both were right.
I’ve curly hair, and bright dark eyes.
Babies come in every size
And shape and color of the skin.
We will improve the world we’re in!
I can’t wait to feel mom’s arms
And melt her heart with baby charms.
I’ll figure how to get my way
And have my diapers changed each day.
When I’m hungry, will I cry!
Get mom to sing a lullaby.
Dad will try to pick me up,
But mom must hold me as I sup.
And I will learn much more of God
As my life blooms on earthly sod.

Eight months gone.
Impatience grows.
It’s cramped in here,
God surely knows!
Mom, do I sense fear in you?
Don’t worry; God will see me through.
You made your choice, and I am safe.
I’ve almost run the human race.
I was afraid at times back then
Like all those babes who never win.
Life is precious as can be
When it might be just memory.

Mom, only one month to go.
You’d never do it now, I know.
Why aren’t you buying baby clothes?
You know how fast a baby grows!

Why are we riding in the car?
What hospital’s not very far?
It’s crowded as I stretch my leg.
Mom, why do you seem to beg
This heart of yours to grow so cold?
What are you doing? I’m too old!
If you didn’t want me here,
Why is the finish line so near?
It’s wrong at any stage, it’s true;
But I’m almost as big as you!!

Daddy, help me! Stop the pain!
I want to stay! You must explain!
I thought you loved me. I don’t see
Why you’d prefer a memory
When in one month, I would be there.
You’d see my body, skin, and hair.
And you would hold me in your arms.
I promise, I won’t use my charms
Hardly at all to get my way.
You’d change me only once a day.
And I would eat the least I could
And not disturb the neighborhood
At night with baby hungry cries.
I’d be real quiet, shut my eyes.
Please, oh please, give me a chance.
How could you end this sweet romance
Tween you and God and little me?
I’m better than a memory!

I try my voice; I want to shout.
Hands reach in and pull me out.
I grab for any place to hold,
But slide out on a table cold.

My feet are jerked above my head.
“He’s perfect,” the cruel doctor said.
My cord is clamped; now I must die.
Can’t you even tell me why?

No medicine puts me to sleep.
As scalpels cut my skin, blood seeps
Out of arteries and veins
And covers latex gloves with stains.
My body shakes; my small legs kick.
Even demons should be sick
At this cold and heartless rage
Consuming babies at this stage
So close upon the finish line:
Mocking God’s love-gift divine.
Cannulae suck out my brains;
My body now is just remains.
Tissue’s sliced around my heart.
So that is why they let me start!

For organ harvest --- transplantation ---
Cruel fetal experimentation.
They grew me for my body parts!
Someone else will get my heart.

My body --- grown for such a mission.
But I did not give my permission!
I’m a human being, too.
I’m a person, just like you!
Other babies soon will breathe
Through my small lungs. I was deceived.
And that is what hurts worst of all.
God grew my life, precious and small,
For people who threw ME away.
Is torture commonplace today?
The life God gave, precious and small,
Was then betrayed. That’s worst of all.
My soul, flung free, returns to God.
My shell remains upon this sod.
Casually cruel --- this Land,
Which dethrones God and worships man.
America, you threw ME away.
Your brave, new world is here today.

Copyright by Kay Trudell


OTHER FEATURE ARTICLES
Abortion is not legal
Martin's Story: a holocaust paradox
Beware of feminist euphemisms
The physician-assisted-killing fallacy
The Race